--- title: Friends School Blog | Jay Golon, Middle School Principal description: Friends School of Baltimore’s private school blog provides thought-provoking ideas and trends in Pre-K-12 education. The Thinking Cap focuses on a wide range of topics, from the importance of play in problem solving and the maker movement, to technology in the middle school classroom and the A.P. curriculum. Friends School of Baltimore – the world needs what our children can do. --- ![ThinkingCapHeader.jpg](https://blog.friendsbalt.org/hs-fs/hubfs/ThinkingCapHeader.jpg?width=4000&name=ThinkingCapHeader.jpg "ThinkingCapHeader.jpg") # Friends School of Baltimore Private School Blog ## Jay Golon, Middle School Principal ### Recent Posts ## [Building empathy and curiosity in middle school](https://blog.friendsbalt.org/building-empathy-middle-school-0) Posted by [Jay Golon, Middle School Principal](https://blog.friendsbalt.org/author/jay-golon-middle-school-principal) on Nov 14, 2017 2:16:43 PM - [Tweet](https://twitter.com/share) [![](https://blog.friendsbalt.org/hubfs/middleschool11-14-17.jpg)](https://blog.friendsbalt.org/building-empathy-middle-school-0) I first encountered “The Middle School Paradox” as a graduate student living in Boston. I was visiting a school when I saw it posted prominently on the wall -- six little words that would change my life. **“Know Thyself. Then, Get Over Thyself.”**   The middle school journey is full of inherent contradictions. On the one hand, we do all we can to instill in our children a robust sense of self. Since the tween years are prime time for discovering who you are, we want to expose our kids to a [wide range of hands on learning opportunities](https://www.friendsbalt.org/page/academics/university-partnerships) and diverse perspectives. At its best, this process develops poets who love to play soccer and violinists who love robotics. In other words, kids who are curious about the world and willing to try on many different “hats.” Hence, “Know Thyself.” On the other hand, our children must also learn that they are not the center of the world.  Instead, they are a part of several caring communities within communities – family, school, city, class, team – and that [through their actions](https://www.friendsbalt.org/page/community/community-partnerships), or their inactions, they have the potential for great positive or negative impacts on others. We want them to gain experience; at the same time, we don’t want them to feel overwhelmed.  Hence, “Get Over Thyself.” I see these two contradictory forces at work every day in our school.  In one moment, a student might be discovering a love for something they had never tried before. In another moment, I see students setting limits on themselves in order to manage their time effectively; or forced to consider the needs of others. This is never more true than in instances of middle school bullying. Students must question: *What is my responsibility when I witness bullying?  What if the person being unkind is my friend?  * Helping children remain true to themselves while being a force for good is not a perfect or easy process. In fact, the developmental bumps during the middle school years are often built-in, so adults need to pay close attention and offer guidance as needed. Still, I like to think that from these contradictions comes great learning and growth. I invite you to consider how the Middle School Paradox plays out in your own homes.  When have you seen your children experience “Know Thyself” moments?  When have you seen them experience “Get Over Thyself” moments? Share your thoughts.   [Read More](https://blog.friendsbalt.org/building-empathy-middle-school-0) 0 Comments [Click here to read/write comments](https://blog.friendsbalt.org/building-empathy-middle-school-0#comments-listing) [All posts](https://blog.friendsbalt.org/all) ## Considering an Independent School?  ### Download Friends School's "15 Important Questions to Ask when visiting an independent school."  - Learn *the right questions* to ask when evaluating school options.  - Gain confidence in making the important decision of where to send your child to school.  [![15 Questions to Ask](https://no-cache.hubspot.com/cta/default/2241609/557274a3-d5bd-483e-b05a-38749edfaf21.png)](https://cta-redirect.hubspot.com/cta/redirect/2241609/557274a3-d5bd-483e-b05a-38749edfaf21) ### Subscribe to Email Updates ### Other blog posts ## Experience Friends  ### Experience our culture and campus like never before.  [![](https://blog.friendsbalt.org/hs-fs/hubfs/experience%20friends%20crop.jpg?width=390&height=195&name=experience%20friends%20crop.jpg "experience friends crop.jpg")](http://experience.friendsbalt.org/) [![Inquire at Friends](https://no-cache.hubspot.com/cta/default/2241609/bc7b32da-058b-4329-963b-f235b0318869.png)](https://cta-redirect.hubspot.com/cta/redirect/2241609/bc7b32da-058b-4329-963b-f235b0318869) ![Site-Footer-Wordmark.png](https://blog.friendsbalt.org/hs-fs/hubfs/LogosSeals/Site-Footer-Wordmark.png?width=320&name=Site-Footer-Wordmark.png "Site-Footer-Wordmark.png") Friends School of Baltimore is a private coeducational Quaker school founded in 1784 and serving students in Pre-K through 12th grade. Learn more about Friends School by visiting our [website](https://www.friendsbalt.org/page) and [virtual viewbook](https://experience.friendsbalt.org).   \[fa icon="phone"\]  410-649-3211 \[fa icon="envelope"\]  [admission@friendsbalt.org](mailto:admission@friendsbalt.org) 5114 North Charles Street Baltimore Maryland 21210 \[fa icon="chevron-up"\]Back to top